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reaching up in the bright sunshine. covering my eyes. the air smells like salt. i can taste it as i run my tongue over my lips. it’s been windy, coming from the north. my hair is wet and tangled. sand is everywhere. I’m still wandering. adventuring. have I followed his voice tho. where is his voice. I’ve found you in every corner, but now I’m blind. or at least i feel a lil numb. I don’t wanna be numb anymore. being young is funny. I’m such an amateur, but i wouldn’t have it any other way. and i’m passionate. i’ve just realized that. i’ve always been passionate. I am a passionate person who is wandering. I know he is with me. in my passion and my wandering.

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Hawaii life

-Do a back 360 on a skimboard
-Learn how to surf
-Get a job (haha)

Who knew I’d be here? I sure didn’t.
Sometimes I still get scared, but I’m pretty sure this was a good decision.

Islands to mountains to islands again. But this is a dream a day. So here are my days

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"Love each other, as I have loved you."
I cannot love another unless I experience the love of God.

Long night of pacing and speaking. And, would you like any desert tonight?
Then sweeping sweeping and pushing the mop around.
I remember looking down at my feet, my face kinda hot kinda sweaty
And thinking these are the little things.
Hard work, and the many people that I come in contact with.
What do I leave them?
What bit of essence of life do I share?
It’s always been important to me to try to leave people with something good even if it can’t quite be noticed just built upon.
But I got jaded and bitter somehow.
I let my heart focus on what people owed me
And forgot that I can go right to the Source of Life and be full.
I forgot about loving because, somehow, I forgot who is my source.

Now as summer is slowly fading into fall,
I want his word to remain in me.
So that I will remain him.
And remember how much life is in the little things when my spirit is anchored in her source.

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first snow is dribbling in melted drops from the roof this morning.
my feet are cold.
the snow bunnies are soon to emerge from their summer hibernation.
I’m leaving this mountain town in 2 weeks.
still following the sun into the west.
happy changing seasons!

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is everything in preparation?…

that i must go down deep into my own darkness,

to truly understand what it means

and be filled with light

and understand.

what light is, what it means

how to leave the darkness behind.

(yours is the higher way)

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"Like spring rains on this desert land, I will come and give life to your soul." 

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I’m gonna find you and hear what you’re saying, even if I have to go alone into the wilderness to do it.

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You see through the eyes of world and color,

the textures and— 

                          (pressingpressing)

                        —hands down upon your hips,

spinning your breath into webs of spider silk,

                 catching

the very air in your throat,

turning it into dancing night.

and there’s a world of color (in your eyes),

where the water is so high and crashing,

ever so slowly under the sunset sky,

the questions that you keep asking,

simply swirl in dust storms from your lips.

         but there are many things that must go unsaid.

because these are just words;

just feelings and whispers of such things.

And yet you. continue to stand

      in the midst of the breakers. In the midst of his breath.

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up, running with the sun.

run faster, put everything into your feet pushing off the ground.

Heal me.

and the solo drive. “don’t look back.” okay.

you’re finally looking into their eyes.

flying high, just reach for the grab,

and feel the earth under your feet.

then snow down my pants,

but it was good to play.

where have I been all this time?

“Your joy is beautiful.”

Well, I guess it was..joy is beautiful on anyone.

“don’t look back.”

 okay.

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tired from a slow night of pacing

and a cough that’s lingering in my lungs,

walking in the dark back to my car—

The stars and cool springtime air

and whisper to my heart.

So what is love? the conversation began,

a,nd we talked.

 —

This family warms my heart.

Like the way the chef spoke about music

and cooking with such passion and simple love.

felt my spirit kick a little bit with life

 —

God, let’s be whole.

Let’s know that we live

and be filled with the reality of love

not the insecure imitation of it

 —

songs echoing from beneath bridges

and emitting from living room gatherings.

From our mouths and eyes and hands

reaching into waterfalls

climbing to the edges of the sky

and dancing in the light of the stars,

the glory of changing seasons.

Let what is inside of me. be. a life giving dance

of glory to the one above.