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“Like spring rains on this desert land, I will come and give life to your soul.” 

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I’m gonna find you and hear what you’re saying, even if I have to go alone into the wilderness to do it.

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You see through the eyes of world and color,

the textures and— 

                          (pressingpressing)

                        —hands down upon your hips,

spinning your breath into webs of spider silk,

                 catching

the very air in your throat,

turning it into dancing night.

and there’s a world of color (in your eyes),

where the water is so high and crashing,

ever so slowly under the sunset sky,

the questions that you keep asking,

simply swirl in dust storms from your lips.

         but there are many things that must go unsaid.

because these are just words;

just feelings and whispers of such things.

And yet you. continue to stand

      in the midst of the breakers. In the midst of his breath.

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up, running with the sun.

run faster, put everything into your feet pushing off the ground.

Heal me.

and the solo drive. “don’t look back.” okay.

you’re finally looking into their eyes.

flying high, just reach for the grab,

and feel the earth under your feet.

then snow down my pants,

but it was good to play.

where have I been all this time?

“Your joy is beautiful.”

Well, I guess it was..joy is beautiful on anyone.

“don’t look back.”

 okay.

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tired from a slow night of pacing

and a cough that’s lingering in my lungs,

walking in the dark back to my car—

The stars and cool springtime air

and whisper to my heart.

So what is love? the conversation began,

a,nd we talked.

 —

This family warms my heart.

Like the way the chef spoke about music

and cooking with such passion and simple love.

felt my spirit kick a little bit with life

 —

God, let’s be whole.

Let’s know that we live

and be filled with the reality of love

not the insecure imitation of it

 —

songs echoing from beneath bridges

and emitting from living room gatherings.

From our mouths and eyes and hands

reaching into waterfalls

climbing to the edges of the sky

and dancing in the light of the stars,

the glory of changing seasons.

Let what is inside of me. be. a life giving dance

of glory to the one above.

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breathe deep.

leave your restless sleep and half awake dreams. 

where has my heart gone running away too.

I can’t really tell if it’s late or not.

humidity.

the call of red cardinals in the morning speaks

to my soul

and I asked you to show me why

then, at just the right time

you took that step and tore down that wall

that I’ve built so tall in offense.

sleepy eyes in the afternoon sun

barefoot on a sun bleached road

the ocean awoke me from my slumber

so my feet padded towards it.

a salty breath.

Perspective.

how poisonous is the heart in offense.

Glasses of wine with my mom and her lively friend

laughing and speaking and being together.

How many times have I kneeled on this floor,

to lift my hopes and be redeemed of my sorrows,

and I’ve always been met here and there.

You’ve never let me go

and never held back.

There are some things I can’t escape, and must endure,

but I have hope that you, my God, will always

lift up my head,

and I will never be put to shame.

 

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I suddenly can drink black coffee, dark beers, and tequila without gagging. I must be an adult now.

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a journey so vulnerable, that I find I’m not as fragile as I so often feel.

A true value for the process,

Whatever that may be,

Will not actually break me beyond repair.

I’ve found that my Father can bring about so much good

From any bad situation

If I only have the courage to believe so

And open my hands,

And feel the rawness of my heart only,

And allow my vulnerability to show to him;

He is in the business of making all things new

 with nothing hidden, now everything is in it’s purest

and most raw state

of growing

and healing

and being set free.

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And when I feel like ive lost myself for good, He reminds me who i am again.

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snowsnowsnow. love work. love singing. love playing in the pow. movement is a choice. change is a choice. some things hurt. change hurts. growing huuurrrtttss. but new life comes from the death of certain habits and promises.

you probably know about being homesick. and about wanting to run in the heat and sunshine until you lay down out of breath on the grass. and let yourself swim in the blue of the sky. timing is everything. if I could only learn how to be patient for Him.